For the last 12 years I have been coaching clients and my students and it seems we are all hurting because something was said or done to us and we are stuck in time. Surprisingly we nurture the hurt rather than let it go therefore making it difficult for us to move on-be it a nasty statement, a degrading gesture, mental or physical abuse. Nurturing any hurt and pain over time makes it a habit that is difficult to overcome because unconsciously we have allowed a negative thought or emotion to grow from a seed to full-fledged despondency.
There is a principle in neuroscience called Hebb’s law. It basically states that “nerve cells that fire together, wire together.” Hebb’s credo demonstrates that if you repeatedly activate the same nerve cells, then each time they turn on, it will be easier for them to fire in unison again. Eventually those neurons will develop a long-term relationship.1
Most human beings repeat the same thoughts day in and day out in their lives and expect their life to change. Our bodies get addicted to our thoughts and emotions – whether they are positive or negative. Un-fortunately most humans repeat their negative thoughts and emotions and therefore are unable to cope with the real world.
It is difficult for us to forgive and feel compassion when we ourselves are hurt and sulking, however it is important to remember that if we have entered the tunnel of anxiety, depression or panic attacks then there is way to walk out of it too.
Exercise
The easiest way to come out of feeling low is to take a couple deep breaths, straighten your spine, fill your lungs with air, raise your head face upwards with a big grin on your face. Notice that you are now breathing differently …in this posture try and feel miserable…..it is just not possible… unless you change your posture.
The above exercise is enough to prove the Body-Mind connection and therefore one can take charge of oneself and break the habits that haunt us by feeling good.
Our job here on Earth is to feel good, make others feel good and the real test is whether the one’s watching us are feeling good too…
References
1. Hebb, D. O., The Organization of Behavior: A Neuropsychological Theory (Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates, Inc., 2002).
